Recently I started watching new-to-me movies (having seen all the Marvel movies, some of them multiple times*), and, having been not entirely interested in many** movie releases of the past few years, thought I might try some Academy Award winning/nominated films. Because, hey. They should be good movies.
Well.
A few were outstanding, and a few were the disappointments.*** That said, I’m glad I saw them, and don’t feel like I wasted my time.
So with no further ado, here are my Haiku Movie Reviews****.
Mad Max: Fury Road
biker grandmas and
Tom Hardy in the desert
couldn’t save this film*****
Dunkirk
stunning visuals
but shocking lack of context
so disappointed^
The Hurt Locker
it was intense, yes
fine acting, Falcon, Hawkeye
but lacked a story^^
Zero Dark Thirty
dark, gritty, intense
doesn’t spoonfeed the viewer
and very well done^^^
The Darkest Hour
Gary Oldman, wow
two hours about a choice
totally worth it^^^^
Victoria and Albert
Dame Judi Dench rules,
gets friendly with a Muslim—
tender and heartfelt^^^^^
Police Academy
a screwball premise
Mahoney, Tackleberry
silly ’80’s fun^*
What films have you seen lately that impressed you? Which films are you looking forward to seeing? I’m looking for recommendations, so post your thoughts in the comments.
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*Captain America and Doctor Strange, I’m talking to you.
**Is it any wonder that TV, in its many-varied splendor, is doing so well?
***I don’t think they were all accolade-worthy. Perhaps the Oscars™ are not the best baseline for quality.
****I initially wrote them as “One-Sentence Reviews,” but some of the sentences became so long and unwieldy that I thought haiku might be a more suitable form.
*****It was a spectacle, but not much else. Can someone explain to me, in this dystopian world, where they get all the fuel for their vehicles? And what is with the flamethrower guitarist?
^Christopher Nolan’s cinematographer does nice work, but not enough to save this flimsy docudrama about the truly gripping rescue of the British and French WWII soldiers facing imminent annihilation by the Nazis. Shame on Nolan for providing no context for just how desperate and stunning this rescue was (just three—3!—sentences at the beginning of the movie, with NO mention of the sacrifice of British soldiers at Calais as a means of drawing off the Nazis, was pathetic), and shame on him for the odd time-structuring of the movie. And shame on Hans Zimmer for providing a soundtrack consisting almost entirely of pounding heartbeats (and minimal music). And again, Tom Hardy couldn’t save this film.
^^Glad I saw it, but damn. Another job I do. not. want. Bigelow can do action, though. And those Marvel actors? They really can act. Huh.
^^^Apparently my knowledge of recent history is sorely lacking. And to learn that Bin Laden was captured while they were filming the movie? Wow.
^^^^Phenomenal. Intelligent, nuanced. Has me itching to read more about Churchill.
^^^^^And now I have to see Mrs. Brown. And wash my handkerchief from crying at the end.
^*Just to see if you’re paying attention. I’d only seen bits of the movie when it was broadcast on TV, so it was interesting to see it in one complete showing. I <3 Tackleberry.
Finally, finally, finally! Memories of a Future Past, the first story in my “Relics of a Future Past” series is out NOW.