Blog – Page 23 – Andi Winter

National Novel Writing Month begins (2016 edition)

On November 1, 2016

Welcome to November, aka National Novel Writing Month (aka Nanowrimo—”na-no-RYE-mo”). The goal: over the next 30 days to write a 50,000 word novel from scratch.

Yup, from absolutely nothin’.

While I’ve completed six novels courtesy of Nanowrimo, this year I’ll be blogging it as I write. Naked writing/blogging, if you will. Why? To create a record of the experience that isn’t just a spreadsheet, and to show that writing a novel in 30 days is not that hard and doesn’t have to take up all of one’s life.

A novel will be a change for me because lately I’ve been writing short stories and the occasional novella (which was supposed to be a short story and, um, went longer). The last novel I wrote was during Nanowrimo 2014, and I spent 20 writing days on that from start to finish, and the only drama was in the story itself. With any luck, this year will be similar.

Follow along with me (“andipedia”), and join in the Nano fun!

Stoicism is the new Zen

By Andi

On October 25, 2016

In life

Or old Zen, rather.

I’ve been trying to find a spiritual tradition to hang my metaphorical hat on. Since I was a kid, I have been fascinated by samurai, ninja, and Buddhism, particularly Zen Buddhism. I read up on it on my own, took college classes (and nearly got a minor in Religion), and even went to meditation classes and Sunday programs at the local Zen temple, but while the ideas and philosophy I generally liked, the actual experience of Zen practice didn’t seem to help me. To me, Zen comes down to: sit still, empty your mind of thoughts, eventually touch enlightenment, then do it all over again. It’s kind of lonely and frustrating.

So I gave Jodo Shinshu (aka “Shin”) Buddhism a shot. Instead of a self-reliance philosophy, Jodo Shinshu relies on Amida Buddha, so there is a lot less pressure to enlighten yourself. You express your gratitude to Amida Buddha for his compassion by saying his name (Namu Amida Butsu—“I take refuge in Amida Buddha”), and with your faith in Amida, you are granted entrance into the Pure Land (not exactly Heaven, but essentially a place of enlightenment). This is a religion for the average person, and is often seen as the “easy” path to enlightenment. Jodo Shinshu temple is also more like a traditional Christian church with an engaged community that holds potlucks and festivals, and has Sunday services with songs and sermons. It definitely felt warmer and friendlier than Zen to me, and being able to leave my worries to Amida felt kind of nice, but it still wasn’t what I was looking for.

Then I stumbled onto Stoicism. I read Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations years ago and I liked it a lot (“Read again!” I wrote in my notes), but I hadn’t thought anything more about it. Then I read some posts from folks who were getting into Stoicism and explaining how it was helping them, and I thought I would look into it further.

Holy cow.

There are a lot of similarities between Stoicism and Zen (developed by warriors doesn’t hurt), but it seemed to me that Stoicism is more practical. How so? Try this:

Concern yourself with only what you can control.
Don’t worry about things you cannot control.

Sure, I’d heard “Not my circus, not my monkeys” time and again, but it didn’t resonate like this. And this is something I can use, that I can (and have) put into daily practice and it helps. Really, it does.

Worried about something? Can you actually do anything about it? If yes, then do it. If no, then stop worrying and instead focus on something you can do something about.

Words of 1st century wisdom. Brilliant.

While Stoicism isn’t exactly a spiritual tradition, I feel like it’s a start along that path.

Do it now

By Andi

On September 14, 2016

In life, writing

Art comes first. Or maybe exercise comes first. Or perhaps meditating comes first. Or getting work done comes first.

It doesn’t matter what the priority is, but there must be a priority. Choose one. Then do it first, before anything sabotages your day. Protect the time you need to do it like the fragile little bird that it is.

If you don’t do it, it is clearly not a priority. Excuses are boring.

Do it now.

This PSA brought to you by the “Instead of Saying ‘I Don’t Have Time,’ Say ‘It’s Not a Priority'” vanguard.

For a more fitness-oriented approach, see a related post on Nerd Fitness.

Perfection is for losers

By Andi

On August 26, 2016

In life, writing

Or so I have to remind myself.

For the past few months (egads, months), I’ve been working on putting together a flash fiction collection. It wasn’t the actual writing of the stories, or even the revising of the stories, that has taken the bulk of the time.

Getting it typeset and ready for publication has been the Time Suck Extraordinaire.

I have been learning the ins and outs of book design. Things like:

the horrors of widows and orphans and runts
why justification is a good thing (when I was convinced it was Utter Evil)
how to set up a book template, with all of the appropriate margins and master pages and paragraph styles
finding fonts that look good and do not require paying someone
the differences between title case, all caps, and small caps
drop caps look cool, but are perhaps not worth the time or effort
how to write blurbs
the true book content always starts on a right-hand page with Page 1
starting chapters on a right-hand page is classy
there really are no (or at least very few) rules WRT book design (other than that bit about always starting the true book content on right-hand page #1)

but most importantly:

I hate designing covers and writing about myself

Yeah, good times.

So a LOT of time spent mucking about with learning not only the industry standards (or close-enoughs) of book layout and design, but also the damn software to make the book layout and design happen.

I am really hoping that the time I’ve put into this will pay off later when I can just use a template I already put together, and format text quickly (since I’ve learned the little niggling bits that Scribus uses to ~~annoy~~ be different from InDesign).

Have I spent too much time on all of this for a 40 page collection of very short stories? Oh, probably. Which is why I’m having to remind myself that:

The Perfect is the enemy of the Good. Or Good Enough.

In this age of digital publishing*, there are very few things that can’t be changed. Need to modify the document? Fix it, then upload the corrected version, and get on with life. Write more, live more. Don’t get caught up in the nit-pickies of the minutest details. Yes, get the major points right, but then move on.

Recently, I read two self-published short stories in the same genre: one was beautifully formatted, but the story and writing were, shall we say, less than satisfactory; the other one was poorly formatted, but the story was engaging and well-written. Guess which author I will continue to read?**

Perfection is an ideal we will never meet. Not to mention that it’s also a stress-inducing strategy that makes a challenging activity even more difficult. It’s time we accept this, and make the most of our art/lives.

Life is short. Get over yourself and your need for perfection (aka FEAR), and do your thing with love and joy.***

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*I think this applies to most of life as well.

**The poorly formatted, well-written one, if that wasn’t obvious.

***More reminders for myself. Hopefully this helps you, too.

The joy of limits

By Andi

On August 11, 2016

In life, writing

It’s happening again. I took a break, got some sleep and relaxation in, and started feeling pretty good. Got some energy and that itch to get back into the swing of things. So of course I dove head first into the metaphorical pool because I can DO ALL THE THINGS. And then I promptly discovered that whatever energy I had was now dissipating with all of the things now needing my attention. (The same things I hadn’t been thinking about while on break, so clearly they weren’t all truly needing attention right this moment. Greedy bastards.)

So, yeah. About limits . . .

Why limits are good

Limits are Very Good Things and should be embraced, delighted in, and revered. But why should you embrace limits? Aren’t we all supposed to believe that we have limitless abilities, that “the sky’s the limit,” that anyone or thing that limits us is bad? Limits are evil, right?

Wrong. Oh, so wrong.

Limits keep you safe. There is a reason there are speed limits on roads: because the majority of people (not you, obviously) can’t drive safely at high speeds. The speed limit is there to help those drivers maintain a degree of control.
Limits make you more creative. What happens when you have all the resources you could ever need or want? When I’ve had a day to myself to just write, my Muse takes a vacation. When the fridge is stocked, I get stumped on what to put together because there are SO MANY OPTIONS. “Well, clearly, you don’t need me, darling. You have all you could need!” Muse says in a Zsa Zsa Gabor voice. But when I’ve run out of time to workout, or I don’t have the black art kraft paper I was planning to use, or I used up the last eggs in Tuesday’s dinner, or I only have space for three sentences (and not three pages), that’s when Muse comes back and says, “Oh, you need me! Here, let me help you, darling.” Can I fit in a set of pushups at my desk? What about using the art kraft paper I can find and making that work somehow? What can I bake that does not require eggs, or is there something I can substitute for them? How can I get to the heart of the matter and lose all the extra words? Limits force your mind to make connections that it wouldn’t otherwise make. Necessity is the mother of invention, after all.
Limits help keep you sane and healthy. Knowing you can push yourself is good, but even better is knowing what exactly your limits are. What is the minimum amount of sleep you need to function? How much/often do you need to create to stay happy? How many cookies can you eat and not feel sick? Determine your minimums/maximums (i.e. your limits) for staying physically, emotionally, and mentally in balance.
Limits make you more productive. When you only have X amount of time to do something, your brain will go into problem solving mode. It’s all about Parkinson’s Law: “work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.” Inversely, by limiting the amount of time to do something, you may be able to get more done. What if you only had ten minutes to work out? What if your story could only be 1000 words? What if your deadline for creating that artwork was the end of the week? How would those limits change your priorities, or the way you do your work?

How to create limits

These examples are aimed at writers, but adapt to your own art/situation. I’ve used these with cooking, working out, reading, and more.

Tick Tock. Set a deadline or allow only a certain length of time.
[Due by 5 pm this Friday.]
[As many words as possible in 15 minutes.]
Numbers. Allow only a certain number (words, tools, items, etc.)
[500 word story.]
[Use only 1 program/application.]
[Can contain only 2 characters.]
Must have. Require the inclusion of something (a phrase, an object, a genre, etc.)
[“Everybody wants one.”]
[A pocketwatch, true love, and a cave.]
[Superhero AND Noir.]

What are your limits? Have you been able to maintain them? What causes you to break them?

7 ways to write when you just don’t have the energy

By Andi

On July 21, 2016

In writing

So life has gotten a wee bit hectic around the Winter household. I really don’t want to think about this becoming the new Normal, because if I look back, life has been a constant state of “rolling with the punches” for the past, oh, 20 months. A lot of it has been good, but even good stress can still raise its scary scaled head. Is this the new Normal? Yikes.

All of which is to say that I managed to finish that story written ala “Writing into the Dark” style, and instead of being a 4,000-6,000 word short story, it ended up becoming a monster 17,000+ word novella. Technically that’s still a “short story” to some, but it is a length way beyond what I’ve been usually writing of late (which is probably kind of funny coming from a novelist).

After that mini juggernaut, my Muse said she was taking a break. I hadn’t tasked her with that constant of attention (and wordage) since Nanowrimo, so the girl deserved some time off.

But it’s been over two weeks and I’m feeling the itch* to get back into writing (it’s not the same as book formatting, which I’ve been focusing on), but my time and energy are limited (see the first paragraph).

How do you write when you want to but you don’t have the energy?

Pick up a notebook and write the first sentence. Seriously, write a single sentence. It doesn’t matter what it is or what it says. Just start.
Start an email to a fictional friend. This could be a literary character, your Invisible Friend from childhood, or a character you make up.
Write a diary entry. Bonus points if it’s from a point of view not your own.
Jot down all the reasons you don’t have the energy to write. Then laugh at yourself for having written.
Take your shopping list and add descriptions to the items. Bonus points if they get particularly effusive and purple.
Create a list of five favorite books, movies, and TV shows. Pick two. Combine those two in your mind. Now write the first sentence.
Start with a dead body. Literally. Introduce a dead body in your first sentence. Then see what happens from there.

The best way I’ve found to start writing, regardless of time/energy constraints, is to sit down with a notebook and a pen, put the pen tip on the paper and see what happens. This works for those times you are waiting in line, experiencing quiet moments at the office, on lunch breaks, sitting in a car, riding the bus, boiling water — anytime you’re in life’s margins.

How do you create when the interest is there but the energy isn’t? Do you create, or do you take a time out?

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*If I’m feeling the itch, it means Muse is making her way back. And I do NOT want to piss her off, so I’d better start writing right now. <note to self>

Why you procrastinate

By Andi

On July 6, 2016

In life

Why do we procrastinate? For things we don’t enjoy doing, it makes sense: because you don’t want to do it. It will be work, or take a lot of time, or geez there are so many other things you’d rather be doing.

But what about for things we enjoy doing, that we want to do? Why do we procrastinate doing those things?

Fear.

There. I said it.

It’s all about fear. Call it what it is.

FEAR.

With something you want to do, and even enjoy doing, what is there to fear?

Types of Fear

Oh, let’s see. Here is a short list of sample fears:

fear of failure
fear of embarrassment
fear of success
fear of wasting time
fear of what others might think
fear of the unknown
fear of discomfort
fear of change

What does fear do for us? Fear is a wonderful alert — it warns us that something is dangerous. This is often helpful: walking alone in the dark is a vulnerable experience, so by Fear alerting us, we can pay closer attention to our surroundings.

Wanting to paint that picture or start writing a new story? Watch out! Fear roars into life, warning, “Danger! You don’t know what you’re doing! You’re wasting your time! Don’t you have more important things to do? What would your mother think? You’ll only embarrass yourself!”

Yeah, not so helpful.

Our lizard brain can’t distinguish between actual physical threat and an imagined threat. It’s all about Fight or Flight, and the adrenaline rush. This is great when your child is trapped under a burning car and you need to lift the car to free your child. This is terrible when you’re just trying to make a little art.

How to handle fear and do the thing

You could fight it.

Talk back to Fear and let it know that you don’t care. So what if you fail? It’s not the end of the world. So what if you make a fool of yourself? So what if your mother sees your painting? So what if you don’t know what the hell you’re doing?
Ask yourself what the worst case scenario would be. Writing the world’s worst story? Painting a picture that your mother sees and then refuses to speak to you? Wasting time that could have been spent “more productively”?

You could acknowledge it.

What are you feeling? What exactly are you afraid of? Where are you right now? Are you okay? Is anything actually threatening you? Name the specific Fear.

Or you could embrace it.

“Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.”* So move closer to Fear. Get familiar with it. Treat it like a good friend. If it’s hanging around you so much, you might as well make friends with it.

These are all excellent ways of handling fear and coming to understand and appreciate it, and thereby take the wind out of its fraidy cat sails. But do you know the one thing that will stop Fear in its tracks?

Take action.

Pick up a sketchbook and a pen. Open a blank notebook. Get out the toolbox. Start the application.

Just take the first smallest step. It doesn’t have to be big, and it’s better if it isn’t. Fear recognizes Big Moves, but for some reason it tends to ignore tiny actions because it doesn’t see them as a threat. Sometimes you have to be sneaky if you want to get something done, and this is one way to do that.

When Fear steps in your path, take a moment and see it for what it is: a Protective Gatekeeper. Know that it is doing its best to guard you and keep you safe, and be thankful. Then take a (small) action. And then another. And then another.

Has Fear stepped in your way recently?** How did you handle it?***

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*Pema Chodron quote from her book “When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times”.

**Fear constantly steps in my way, which is why I wrote this post: as a reminder to myself to acknowledge it and keep moving (slowly) forward.

***For a longer take on fear and creativity, take a look at Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art.

How to get started doing anything

By Andi

On June 25, 2016

In life

Let’s say there is something you want to do (or worse yet, need to do), and yet you just can’t get yourself to do it. In fact, you will do every-any-thing else, even things you can not stand (dusting, anyone?), to avoid doing what you want/need to do.

I’m not going to delve into the psychology of why we procrastinate (that blog post is coming soon).

I am going to tell you what to do when you have something you want/need to do, but you can’t get yourself to do it.

Take the first step.

Want to write? Open up a word processing program, or take out a notebook and a pen.
Want to read more? Pick up a book and crack it open.
Want to run? Put on your running shoes.
Want to clean the house? Grab a sponge.
Want to walk the dog? Put a leash on him/her/it.
Want to practice a musical instrument? Play a single note.
Want to get in touch with a friend? Dial their phone number.
Want to get outside? Open the door.
Want to introduce yourself? Say, “Hi.”
Want to workout? Do a pushup.

Take the first, tiniest step.

Your goal is to take that first step. Anything after that is gravy. Did you get your running shoes on? Fantastic! You’re good for the day. Job well done!

Now don’t get all “But doing that one thing doesn’t accomplish anything! How does ‘grabbing a sponge’ get me to cleaning the whole place?”

Just start and see how it goes. More often than not, clearing that one tiny hurdle will ease your way into doing the thing. It falls into that “Since I’m here . . . ” concept.

Since I have my running shoes on, I might as well step outside.

Since I have my word processing program open, I might as well write a few words.

Since I did one pushup (and it felt pretty good), I might as well do another, since I’m here on the floor.

Too easy? Then do the thing for fifteen minutes.

Small moves, Sparks.

The difference between plot and story

By Andi

On June 15, 2016

In writing

I was reading Chuck Wendig’s blog post about “What exactly makes a damn good story” and got frustrated. While I liked Wendig’s take on The Hero’s Journey (he’s brilliant at summing up some things rather succintly, with NSFW language), and he gave the answer, he didn’t elaborate enough for a young/new writer to act on it.

Conflict.

Conflict is the building block of story. Conflict is what makes you pore through a book. Conflict is the core of any story, whether a book, a movie, a game, a song, a joke.

What is conflict? It’s simple*: somebody wants something, and something gets in their way**.

Put mathematically:
WANT + OBSTACLE = CONFLICT

Now, just having Someone Wanting Something and then Something Getting in Their Way (of getting what they want) is not a story. I may want to win the Olympics, but I don’t have the skills — oh so sad. How many times have you heard a friend say they wanted to do X, or achieve Y (lose weight, run a marathon, write a novel, get a better job), and then they did nothing? How did you feel hearing about that? Me, I tend to get frustrated or annoyed. To my mind, if you want it, then do something about it, even if it’s something small.

Which is why, for a story, that Someone Wanting Something has to take action and do something. Otherwise, the reader is thinking, “What’s the point?” and even worse, probably putting down the book (or worse yet, writing scathing reviews).

So we add action to the equation:
WANT + OBSTACLE + ACTION = a good start to story

Now we have Someone Wanting Something, then Something Getting in Their Way, and then the Someone Taking Action. How does it end? Does the Someone get what they Wanted? Does the Someone fail? Does the Someone fail and then discover something else they want?

To complete the story, there has to be resolution: what happens? Was the Someone successful? Did they get what they wanted?

Which completes the story equation:
WANT + OBSTACLE + ACTION + RESOLUTION = STORY

Want a longer story? Keep repeating the equation, generally with the resolution being “failed,” so that the Someone either continues to pursue the initial Want, or they change direction and have a new, different Want.

tl;dr: Plot is a sequence of narrative events (this happened, and then this happened). Story is a sequence of narrative events that occurs as the result of a character trying to achieve a goal despite various osbstacles.

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*Yeah, it’s simple. Doesn’t mean it’s easy.

**Special thanks and so much appreciation to Jerry Cleaver and his book Immediate Fiction. His book was the first one I found that actually defined “conflict” without getting caught up in loosey goosey airy terms.

Mini Art Month summary

By Andi

On June 8, 2016

In MAM, writing

Mini Art Month was my attempt to regain some artistic control of my life. I lost the month of April due to Life Happening*, and I needed something to bolster my artistic spirit. I tend to get caught up in the myth** that I have to have huge chunks of time to do my “art,” and I’ve discovered time and again that’s just a way to procrastinate. Why am I procrastinating, especially when art is something I want to do?

The Critic*** warns me away or offers helpful suggestions like “you should research that some more.” Occasionally I call it “Perfectionism”**** if I want to make myself feel better.

So let’s just call it what it is: Fear.

Fear of failure. Fear of embarrassment. Fear of succeeding. Fear of wasting time. Fear of what others might think. Fear of discomfort. Fear of the unknown. Fear of change.

Fear. It sucks.

With Mini Art Month, my goal was to make the making of art as easy and consistent as possible: something small, every day. Did I achieve that? Nope, not every day, but over the course of the month, I did more art (esp. writing) than I did in previous months.

The numbers:

Days of Art:
24 out of 30 (started on May 2)

Types of Art:
7 different kinds (poetry, photography, baking, planting, coloring, display making, and writing)

Takeaways:

I need to set priorities and create limits. If something is important to me, then I need to make it a priority. One way to make it a priority is to do it early in the day before the chaos ensues. As difficult as it is for me, I’ve found that I feel better (and actually write better/more) if I do my writing first thing in the morning. That gets the bare minimum done for the day, and anything else is tasty gravy. I also work better if I have tiny limits, like “Write for 15 minutes.” For some reason, using time as the work metric frees me; I don’t have to worry about having enough words or if they’re any good. I just have to sit my ass down for fifteen minutes and write. Simple and effective.
Writing is my path/practice. Writing is what I need to stay sane, and doing it every day, even in small bits, is good. While it often feels like I’m not getting anywhere, let alone fast, it all adds up. Until I reviewed my MAM posts, I thought I had only been working on one story (my current one). I didn’t realize that I finished two stories in May, and then started the current one, for a total of over 6000 words (20-ish pages). Huh.
But I need to lighten up and have fun. For some reason, I get very serious about writing. Combine that with an innate need to create schedules/plans, and I set myself up for failure (oops! missed a self-imposed deadline. i am such a loser. i should quit), which is Not Fun. Since writing is something that I choose to do, maybe it should be fun. After all, should I really be taking the writing of fantasy/sci-fi short stories and novels seriously? Come on — werewolves, robots, zombies, talking dogs, time agents . . . is this really serious content? Here’s a strange thought: PLAY.
Mini Art Month is a great way to get back into making art. Looking back at it, I can’t honestly call the baking, planting, coloring, or display making, “art” (and even the photography and poetry is a bit dodgy). However, they were helpful for jumpstarting my creativity and for getting me to try some new/different things. I’d like to keep trying my hand at photography because it’s good to actually see the world (and not just get caught up in my head), and I’m seriously considering a daily haiku exercise to get my brain thinking more lyrically and succinctly.

Was Mini Art Month worth it?

YES, because it gave me a structure to fall back on with tiny, easily achievable goals (make something small! every day!).

And most importantly, YES, because it got me back in the habit of writing every day. It feels good and I’m making regular writing progress, which feels even better.*****

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*Note the use of quasi-passive tense. It certainly didn’t feel like I had an active role in the chaos that was April.

**Which of course I wrote about earlier. Yes, it’s a lesson I keep needing to relearn.

***Call it the “Critic,” “Inner Editor,” or one I heard recently “Obnoxious Roommate” (one that lives in your head). It’s that internal voice that tells you to not bother, it’s not worth it, there’s no point to it, you’re going to fail, you’re not smart/talented enough, etc. Yeah, that voice.

****Elizabeth Gilbert’s description in Big Magic has stuck with me: “Perfectionism is just fear in fancy shoes and a mink coat.”

*****I want to give a huge thanks to David Seah for inspiring me to try new ways of creating and then analyzing them publicly. It’s nice to know there are other folks out there struggling with similar creative/productive issues.