Category: life Page 15 of 16

Why do we procrastinate? For things we don’t enjoy doing, it makes sense: because you don’t want to do it. It will be work, or take a lot of time, or geez there are so many other things you’d rather be doing.

But what about for things we enjoy doing, that we want to do? Why do we procrastinate doing those things?

Fear.

There. I said it.

It’s all about fear. Call it what it is.

FEAR.

With something you want to do, and even enjoy doing, what is there to fear?

Types of Fear

Oh, let’s see. Here is a short list of sample fears:

• fear of failure
• fear of embarrassment
• fear of success
• fear of wasting time
• fear of what others might think
• fear of the unknown
• fear of discomfort
• fear of change

What does fear do for us? Fear is a wonderful alert — it warns us that something is dangerous. This is often helpful: walking alone in the dark is a vulnerable experience, so by Fear alerting us, we can pay closer attention to our surroundings.

Wanting to paint that picture or start writing a new story? Watch out! Fear roars into life, warning, “Danger! You don’t know what you’re doing! You’re wasting your time! Don’t you have more important things to do? What would your mother think? You’ll only embarrass yourself!”

Yeah, not so helpful.

Our lizard brain can’t distinguish between actual physical threat and an imagined threat. It’s all about Fight or Flight, and the adrenaline rush. This is great when your child is trapped under a burning car and you need to lift the car to free your child. This is terrible when you’re just trying to make a little art.

How to handle fear and do the thing

You could fight it.

• Talk back to Fear and let it know that you don’t care. So what if you fail? It’s not the end of the world. So what if you make a fool of yourself? So what if your mother sees your painting? So what if you don’t know what the hell you’re doing?
• Ask yourself what the worst case scenario would be. Writing the world’s worst story? Painting a picture that your mother sees and then refuses to speak to you? Wasting time that could have been spent “more productively”?

You could acknowledge it.

• What are you feeling? What exactly are you afraid of? Where are you right now? Are you okay? Is anything actually threatening you? Name the specific Fear.

Or you could embrace it.

• “Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.”* So move closer to Fear. Get familiar with it. Treat it like a good friend. If it’s hanging around you so much, you might as well make friends with it.

These are all excellent ways of handling fear and coming to understand and appreciate it, and thereby take the wind out of its fraidy cat sails. But do you know the one thing that will stop Fear in its tracks?

Take action.

Pick up a sketchbook and a pen. Open a blank notebook. Get out the toolbox. Start the application.

Just take the first smallest step. It doesn’t have to be big, and it’s better if it isn’t. Fear recognizes Big Moves, but for some reason it tends to ignore tiny actions because it doesn’t see them as a threat. Sometimes you have to be sneaky if you want to get something done, and this is one way to do that.

When Fear steps in your path, take a moment and see it for what it is: a Protective Gatekeeper. Know that it is doing its best to guard you and keep you safe, and be thankful. Then take a (small) action. And then another. And then another.

Has Fear stepped in your way recently?** How did you handle it?***

 

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*Pema Chodron quote from her book “When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times”.

**Fear constantly steps in my way, which is why I wrote this post: as a reminder to myself to acknowledge it and keep moving (slowly) forward.

***For a longer take on fear and creativity, take a look at Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art.

Let’s say there is something you want to do (or worse yet, need to do), and yet you just can’t get yourself to do it. In fact, you will do every-any-thing else, even things you can not stand (dusting, anyone?), to avoid doing what you want/need to do.

I’m not going to delve into the psychology of why we procrastinate (that blog post is coming soon).

I am going to tell you what to do when you have something you want/need to do, but you can’t get yourself to do it.

Take the first step.

• Want to write? Open up a word processing program, or take out a notebook and a pen.
• Want to read more? Pick up a book and crack it open.
• Want to run? Put on your running shoes.
• Want to clean the house? Grab a sponge.
• Want to walk the dog? Put a leash on him/her/it.
• Want to practice a musical instrument? Play a single note.
• Want to get in touch with a friend? Dial their phone number.
• Want to get outside? Open the door.
• Want to introduce yourself? Say, “Hi.”
• Want to workout? Do a pushup.

Take the first, tiniest step.

Your goal is to take that first step. Anything after that is gravy. Did you get your running shoes on? Fantastic! You’re good for the day. Job well done!

Now don’t get all “But doing that one thing doesn’t accomplish anything! How does ‘grabbing a sponge’ get me to cleaning the whole place?”

Just start and see how it goes. More often than not, clearing that one tiny hurdle will ease your way into doing the thing. It falls into that “Since I’m here . . . ” concept.

Since I have my running shoes on, I might as well step outside.

Since I have my word processing program open, I might as well write a few words.

Since I did one pushup (and it felt pretty good), I might as well do another, since I’m here on the floor.

Too easy? Then do the thing for fifteen minutes.

Small moves, Sparks.

I am about to give you the secret to productivity. Are you ready? Brace yourself, because this is a game/brain changer.

Set a timer for fifteen minutes, then do the thing.

It doesn’t matter what the thing is. Writing? Drawing? Laundry? That phone call to Mom? Learning a language? Getting ready for the next day? Cleaning the sink? Mastering the ukulele? Making bread dough? This works for all of them.

Too complicated? Let me break it down.

1. Get a timer. Use your microwave, your phone, your computer, your watch (yes, some of us still wear and use them!).
2. Set the timer for 15 minutes.
3. Do the thing.
4. When the timer goes off, stop doing the thing.
5. High five yourself for being productive!

Of course, if you not only can do more, but also want to do more, by all means go ahead. You can even set the timer for another round of fifteen minutes. Go crazy! You’re on a roll!

This is how people get an insane* amount of things done. Life in fifteen minute chunks.

 

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*This is how I manage to write novels in thirty days**: 15 minute chunks. Over and over and over again.

**And blog posts. Fifteen minutes is serious mojo making magic.

 

 

I came across a reference to “The Five Minute Journal” and had to take a look. I love journals, and paper and pens, and have kept a diary of assorted varieties since I was seven years old (I love that there was a “lock” on one from elementary school — as if it would keep my sister out of my diary), and I’m always looking for ways to tweak my daily routine. So when I saw “Five Minute Journal” my curiousity was piqued.

The idea is that in five minutes a day (yes, just FIVE MINUTES A DAY) you can journal and become a better person. Or something like that.

The gist of it is: in the morning, write down three things you are grateful for, then three things that would make the day great, and then your affirmations (if you’re into that). Then in the evening, you write down three amazing things that happened to you that day, and then a note about how you could have made that day better.

In many respects it’s genius — a few minutes in the morning to set your intentions, and then a few minutes in the evening to note what happened and reflect on improvement. All of this fits on one sheet of paper, and if you buy the actual “Five Minute Journal” you get daily inspirational quotes and a split-sheet effect with the morning section on lighter background and evening section on darker background.

I’ve been trying the morning section to settle my mind down before getting to work. Most mornings I have a zillion ideas running through my head, which range from the Terribly Important and Must Do Today to mundane silly things that Aren’t Important and Will Add No Value to My Life But Dammit I Want to Know More (like who is on the new cast of Dancing with the Stars, or what the reviews look like for a recently published academic book on the Japanese tea ceremony). Trying to sort through the mess and triage it often has me heading down rabbit holes (and usually of the mundane and silly) before I ever get to determining the important and timely stuff to do.

So I’m liking and using the “three things grateful for” and “three things that would make the day great.” Just three things. I think I can manage that.

For the evening I’m still preferring Lynda Barry’s “Daily Diary” format that she describes in her book Syllabus. You take a composition notebook, and each day note seven things you did that day, seven things you saw or noticed, something you overheard, and then draw a picture from some aspect of the day (a self-portrait is okay, esp. if expressing emotion). Something like this*:

I can’t draw (really, I can’t), so it’s been a struggle to even attempt to draw something that vaguely resembles reality, but when I look back over my diary entries, it’s the pictures that stick out, like the one of the guy in his car flipping me off through his open sunroof, or the outline of mountains under clouds, or a day I was frazzled and have the self-portrait to prove it.

This is a far cry from Julia Cameron’s “Morning Pages” and takes less words and penmanship than a standard diary, but it’s working well for me for catching the highlights of the day and pushing me to render them visually. It also takes less time than long-form writing, which means I’m more likely to do it, and it means I get to my bedtime reading much sooner.

*I draw the kanji for “picture” because, well, it’s a picture of a picture and I have to have some Japanese content in whatever I write.

Yes, I meant that to be capitalized. The One Thing.

Lately I’ve been feeling like I have low (minimal, really) energy (am I coming down with a cold? did I overdo it with productivity last week?), and yet I have all these things that I want to do — need to do — that range from Great Art (working through the How to Revise Your Novel course, writing a new story, blogging about this journey) to Basic Life Maintenance (making dinner, taking out the trash, cleaning the house, exercising, sleeping).

And that’s to say nothing of all the other things that I want to do (learn to play the ukulele, create a container garden, divine the art of making sourdough bread).

All of these needs and wants build up, and then because I have minimal energy, I get overwhelmed. I get so caught up in all the things that I want to do, to accomplish, that I end up doing nothing. Nada. And then I feel terrible because OMG LOOK AT ALL THE TIME I WASTED I AM SUCH A TERRIBLE XX <insert role — writer, wife, friend, etc.>.

Sorry, that was my lizard brain. It shouts at me. A lot. I try to remember to beat it back with a stick.

A stick like “The One Thing.”

The One Thing is the one thing that, if it was the only thing you did today, would allow you to declare the day Good Enough. You made progress on something, moved the ball forward even an inch, and can feel good about yourself/your project.

This “One Thing” concept is really helpful for those of us who tend to be productive (once we can get over inertia), because “Hey, I did my One Thing. What ELSE can I do today?” is a common result.

It’s also incredibly helpful for establishing limits. I’ll talk about limits soon, because I loves me the limits. Seriously.

Give it a try. Ask yourself, “What is the one thing I could do today that would make this day satisfying?” or “What is the one thing I could do today that would move (my project/art) forward?” Try it with your workplace, your home, your relationships, your art. See where it takes you.

Need another example or some inspiration? Check out “The One Thing” by Gary Keller, and take a look at Tim Ferriss’s “Productivity Hacks“.